Becoming a Pastor's Wife

Becoming a Pastor's Wife

I don’t think many woman would say that there life’s dream is to become a pastor’s wife… it certainly wasn’t mine.

I was hoping for normal. I wanted to marry a godly man, be a school teacher, maybe one day become a mother, you know… normal. Of course I planned on being involved in ministry somewhere, on my own terms mind you. I’d happily teach a kids Sunday School class, sing on a worship team, watch babies in the nursery, etc. Pretty much anything and everything that I was comfortable doing. Pastor’s wife, however, was not what I was looking for.

By nature I am a shy person. I don’t like being up front, I don’t want to be the leader and please don’t ask me to run a ministry. On occasion I’ll offer my opinion or provide some counsel to a close friend but I don’t seek those moments out, I don’t just have my “crisis radar” up 24/7. It’s just not who I thought I was.

Now, if you were to ask my family they would tell you that I was made for this. I can recall numerous passing conversations, especially with my grandmother (who I think might be a prophet) where she would casually reference God’s calling or God’s equipping and then slip in a quick “pastor’s wife” reference. I remember always nodding and saying “thank you” but in my head I was saying, “yeah right,” or maybe it was, “Please, No!” They clearly didn’t know what I knew… that sort of pressure and position wasn’t what the Lord had for me.

Jump ahead a few years and now I’m in Bible College.

I went resolved not to meet, date, and/or fall in love with anyone looking into full time pastoral ministry. Perhaps I could find a nice teacher, an athletic director, or someone who was in to music, but not a pastor. As fate (I mean providence) would have it I found and fell in love with an anomaly at Bible College, a young man who wanted to be a cop. The how and the why concerning our pursuit of these goals at a Bible College is another story for another time. Suffice it to say, we had one set of plans going in to college and in to a relationship, God had another.

Our second semester of dating my now husband and I were given the opportunity to get off campus every weekend and go home to New Jersey. There was one condition… we had to run a youth program at my families church. At the time it didn’t feel like we were stepping into ministry. At the time it didn’t feel like anything really. We had to do something for a ministry credit, which is a Bible College thing, and this seemed like a great opportunity. Little did either of us know that the Lord was setting both of us up for a massive change of heart.

I’m not sure when the change occurred (Matt can’t pinpoint it either) but I remember fighting it. Truth be told, we fought together and we fought hard. We even had a conversation, at one point, where we both agreed that full-time ministry was a deal breaker so if one of us was going that route we’d just part ways. Then came the conversation…

To this day I can still remember the night that we sat on the steps in our college mailroom and with a great deal of fear and a number of tears we poured our hearts out to each other and confessed a pull, a leading, a relentless dragging into full-time pastoral ministry. Neither of us wanted this but at least we didn’t want it together. Simply put, the Lord had a plan for our lives and there was nothing for us to do but follow Him.

Is being a Pastor’s wife my life goal? Still not always sure of that. I do know, however, that this is where God has me and where He wants me to be… and really, that’s all that matters!

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Wednesday, 08 July 2020