Car Rides, Kids & Reconnecting

Car Rides, Kids & Reconnecting


You ever just feel disconnected from your significant other? It happens all the time. Life is busy and there are days (sometimes weeks) where it’s going to feel like you and your partner are like passing ships on the sea. Finding time to connect is difficult… but it couldn't be more important.

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5 Things Every Visitor to Your Church Wishes You Knew

5 Things Every Visitor to Your Church Wishes You Knew

What if I told you that the average churches retention rate of unchurched, first-time visitors is less than 3% . . . would that shock you?

I can’t speak for every church across the world, but in my 14 years of pastoral ministry (plus the 19 where I grew up in a pastor’s home) this has been my experience.

In fact, I started keeping my own records about 10 years back and guess what I discovered . . . it’s less than 3%.

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But, I Don't Play the Piano

But, I Don't Play the Piano

Molds. Those areas, those roles… those things in life that you’re supposed to fit in to.

Oh, you’re married and young… where are the children?

Oh, your kid goes to this school, you must be on the PTA.

Oh, you’re a woman… you must want to work in the nursery.

Like it or not we all have various expectations that are put on to us because of our family or because of our stage in life or because of our gender. This was never more evident to me than when I became THE Pastor’s wife.

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7 Things Every Small Church Needs to Grow

7 Things Every Small Church Needs to Grow

“It’s impossible to grow the church in this town.”

“No one cares about church anymore.”

“People aren’t going to give up their only day off to wake up early and go sit in a church to get yelled at.”

I have heard each and every one of these sentences come out of the mouths of heart-broken, defeated church folks… In fact, I said one of them (can you guess which one?).

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Why We Hate Change (& why that has to change) - Part 2

Why We Hate Change (& why that has to change) - Part 2

In a previous post I suggested two of the 5 Reasons We Hate Change In The Church.

In this post I’ll provide the three that remain in the hopes of preparing us for the inevitability of life (which changes all around us, all the time).

Just before we get in, though, I want you to understand the heart of this. As the leader of a church I’m hard wired to be discontent with the status quo. I can’t help it, it’s part of my DNA. I am always looking for how something can be done better, for ways that people can be challenged to grow and for ways in which the church can extend it’s influence for the Kingdom of God in it’s context.

I am of the firm conviction that God is not done with my church or with yours. I do believe, however, that the workers are few and that a lot of that is the fault of leadership. Ministry is hard work because it’s heart work. It’s challenging because it demands our devotion to the Lord and our personal discipline in pretty much every area of life. That’s daunting without a solid church family (which I’m blessed to have). Pastor’s need people on their team, and I’m hoping that this might help accomplish that in some way.

So . . . picking up from where we left off . . .

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Becoming a Pastor's Wife

Becoming a Pastor's Wife

I don’t think many woman would say that there life’s dream is to become a pastor’s wife… it certainly wasn’t mine.

I was hoping for normal. I wanted to marry a godly man, be a school teacher, maybe one day become a mother, you know… normal. Of course I planned on being involved in ministry somewhere, on my own terms mind you. I’d happily teach a kids Sunday School class, sing on a worship team, watch babies in the nursery, etc. Pretty much anything and everything that I was comfortable doing. Pastor’s wife, however, was not what I was looking for.

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Why We Hate Change (& why that has to change)

Why We Hate Change (& why that has to change)

Living things change... it's a fact of life.

Think about it in terms of a newborn baby. There are cycles to life. From newborn to infant to baby to toddler to early adolescence, there are some major changes that take place.

My daughter is 5 now. She does not look exactly the same way she looked 5 years ago. She is able to do things now that she couldn’t do back then, like walk and carry on a conversation (that makes sense—most of the time).

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Unashamed

Unashamed

About 5 years ago now, on a beautiful summer day, I was at the park with my 2 year old daughter Audrey (my only child at the time). The two of us happened to be enjoying the baby swing when it happened… another mom and child joined us, Eek!

Let me explain the fear.

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Weak Leader

Weak Leader

What has two thumbs, an exhausting drive, a bold and frequently loud voice/opinion and a leadership style that is, many times, shortsighted?

This guy (pictured above and is presently writing this blog post)!

Don’t quit on me, I am slowly (even though I’m really trying) growing and the following is a simple acknowledgement of the many areas I am a weak leader, as well as a plea for patience and grace.

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A Primer on Change for the Church

A Primer on Change for the Church

“What is the difference between a living thing and a dead thing? In the medical world, a clinical definition of death is a body that does not change. Change is life. Stagnation is death. If you don't change, you die. It's that simple. It's that scary.”  ― Leonard Sweet

Anything that is healthy, anything that is living, anything that is productive… changes. Why? It can’t help it.

To be alive is to change. We don’t have to like it; in fact… we don’t like it, but the inevitability of change is something that everyone has to decide whether to embrace and engage in or to ignore, thereby fading into obscurity.

This could never be more practical and applicable than when discussing the church.

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MOTIVES — Why I Can't Not Strive for Revolutionary Church (and other double negatives)

MOTIVES — Why I Can't Not Strive for Revolutionary Church (and other double negatives)

Why do we do the things we do?

The question of motive is significant and the answers are numerous. On a daily basis, any number of our driving motives can be linked to: responsibility, requirement, fear, joy, desire, anger, ignorance, conviction, guilt and so on.

One of the most important questions you will ever ask and answer will be, “What is my motivation for doing/saying ___________________?” If you can find that answer, it might just change everything.

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You're Scarier Than You Think

You're Scarier Than You Think

You know… I wish someone would have told me a long time ago that all adults are scary, even after you become an adult. It’s taken me a few years to realize this, but after 100’s (if not 1,000’s) of personal meetings, counseling sessions, leadership pow-wows, conflict resolution sit-downs and so on, I can confidently say that everyone is at least a little scared of everyone else.

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Real Life & Daily Devotions

Real Life & Daily Devotions

Add to this the group of people in my church who appear to have it all together and don’t seem to ever struggle with their personal Bible study and now and the feeling goes from bad to crushing.

Now tack on the guilt that gets packed on by the endless flow of online media that’s always available to show me all the super-Christians who are doing more/better than I am doing and now I’ve sunken so low I feel like the worst Christian in America.

Pile, on top of it all, the broken promises regularly made to God and to myself to do better tomorrow or the next week… now I’ve sunken to the level of worst person to follow Christ since Judas.

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A Christian's Guide to Social Media - Facebook (Part 2)

A Christian's Guide to Social Media - Facebook (Part 2)

Every 60 seconds on Facebook: 510 comments are posted, 293,000 statuses are updated, and 136,000 photos are uploaded. (Source: The Social Skinny) How many of those come from people who claim to love Jesus and how many of those actually honor Him? From my research… Christians need some help.

In part one of A Christian’s Guide to Social Media I offered 10 general rules for the Christian who wishes to use Facebook to make much of Jesus.

Here, in part two, I’d like to deal with the two biggest Facebook faux pas Christians make that often damage their testimony and run the risk of grieving God.

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A Christian's Guide to Social Media - Facebook (Part 1)

A Christian's Guide to Social Media - Facebook (Part 1)

Every 60 seconds on Facebook: 510 comments are posted, 293,000 statuses are updated, and 136,000 photos are uploaded. (Source: The Social Skinny) How many of those come from people who claim to love Jesus and how many of those actually honor Him? From my research… Christians need some help.

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A Christian's Guide to Social Media

A Christian's Guide to Social Media

Your social media presence matters a whole lot more than you are acting like it does!

It’s morning again—BLEH—and you roll out of bed to start the routine. For most this will include a cup of caffeine (coffee if you love Jesus), a disgruntled look at yourself in the mirror, breakfast food of some sort (I’d recommend pizza), a little morning devo time and the obligatory social media check-in.

After 2 or 3 minutes of perusing pictures, watching a funny video of a bulldog riding a skateboard and hitting the “share,” or “like” button, you contemplate your own digital representation for the day.

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