Notes from My Side

Inner-monolog from the woman behind the man behind the pulpit.

Car Rides, Kids & Reconnecting

Car Rides, Kids & Reconnecting

You ever just feel disconnected from your significant other? It happens all the time. Life is busy and there are days (sometimes weeks) where it’s going to feel like you and your partner are like passing ships on the sea. Finding time to connect is difficult… but it couldn't be more important.

In a previous post I mention how Matt and I, when we were still just dating, had the unique and foreordained (that word is my husbands influence coming out of me, it means pre-planned… you know, by God) opportunity to start a youth ministry, on the weekends, at my home church. This was a blessing to two young, dating, college students for a number of reasons but I think the greatest reasons was the 2 hour car rides (4 hours total both ways).

See, both Matt and I were fairly busy in school. Matt would go to his myriad of classes (I think he took over 30 credits one semester) and then rush off to his job and I would go to my classes, hit the books hard (which Matt didn’t have to do… so annoying), and then two days out of the week I’d babysit. Amidst the chaos we would try to have lunch together when we could, but most days our schedules seemed to keep us apart.

The car became a sanctuary for us. It was that one place, in our lives, where we could come together. We would talk, sing, dance, laugh… basically just be ourselves. Weekend car rides became such a significant part of who we were as a couple that we even created our own “just us” mixed CD collection… 7 volumes strong. We used to joke about how, when we got married, life would regulate and we’d be together all the time and all those other lies naive dating couples tell each other.

When we got married we saw each other more and life regulated a little, but even now in the craziness of ministry, kids, friends, family, etc. we’ve found that the rare occasions where we’re able to take long car rides together is still our reconnection space. It’s funny how excited we both get when we know we’re going on a trip. Even the daunting prospect of traveling with demanding littles in the car doesn’t derail our joyful anticipation.

Listen, I don’t want you to think that Matt and I are perfect or that we have it all figured out. There are days we don’t communicate well and there are times where we both feel disconnected. What I do hope someone will be able to take away from this is the simple lesson that I’ve learned: Find your place. Find that place where you can just tune out life around you and tune into each other. Make it happen, whatever you have to do and don’t wait for a season of life that isn’t “crazy…” they don’t exist!

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Tuesday, 21 November 2017